Scoundrel's Luck
by xXWeaponPrimeXx
Summary: They have a what! - A short bit of fluff detailing just how my Chem-Dogs came to have one of the most destructive machines in the Imperial Armoury.
**Scoundrel's Luck**

Corr was tired.

Or dead.

He wasn't entirely sure which at the moment. Not that the distinction would matter all that much. He sat in the driest patch of mud he could find and took a moment to allow his weariness to settle in. They'd been on Orico for roughly three months fighting a particularly obnoxious Tyranid incursion. The splinter fleet wasn't all the huge a threat, but the piss poor Orico PDF was slowing everything down to the point of tedium. The stupid bastards had done little more than soil themselves and scream at each conflict Corr had been in with them, leaving the 66th largely on their own to deal with the encroaching waves of chitin, talons and drool. The only notable exception being a squad of troopers that had somehow latched on to 'Papa' and followed him loyally wherever he went. They were slowing being molded into something even close to resembling a decent combat unit. Corr made a mental note to ask 'Papa' where he found his group of wayward ducklings.

A lho-stick smoldered between his lips. He'd lit it with every intention of smoking it and relaxing, but as he sat there he simply couldn't find the energy. He blinked slowly, his eyes just barely finding the energy to open again. He reached up and took his lho-stick between two fingers and tamped it out in the mud and then fell backwards before letting his eyes shut once more.

The battle was won. Some other poor sods had been rotated to the front. Now was the perfect opportunity to get some well-deserved-

"Corr!"

 _Nope... I didn't hear it..._

"Corr! CORR!"

Corr sleepily shook his head.

 _No... I'm asleep... I didn't-_

Hands grabbed Corr's carapace vest and shook him roughly.

"CORR!"

Corr's eyes snapped open and he stared into Callahan's smiling, mud-streaked face. He grabbed Cally's wrists and squeezed with all his strength as he glared at the man.

"Cally! Do you have any idea how exhausted I am?!" Corr hissed through clenched teeth. Cally winced and released his grip on Corr's armor.

"Sorry boss, but... ya gotta s- ow! Ya gotta see this!" Cally said through clenched teeth of his own.

"Cally! I haven't slept in at least thirty six hours! What could possibly be so damned important!?" Corr shouted as he squeezed Cally's wrists tighter, drawing a pained yelp from the man. Despite the pain, Cally managed a sly grin.

* * *

"You... I can't... I don't even..." Corr mumbled. Cally stood next to him, rubbing his wrists and grinning like an idiot. Not a stretch for the man.

"Didn't I tell ya you'd want to see this?" he asked. Corr nodded, the sight leaving him more than a little numb.

The pair stood in massive plascrete bunker. The complex was shrouded in darkness and Corr made it a point to keep his hand on his laspistol as his men quickly set up portable flood lamps.

"How'd you find it, Cally?" Corr asked.

"It was Pats that found it really. Spore mine blew up. Damn thing melted a hole clean through the bunker when it popped on a group of PDF… speaking of… mind your step. Anyhoo, Pats was chasin' down a fleeing gribbly when she… heh, fell upon this place."

"Ass!" she answered from where she sat as Needles and Nurse saw to her busted leg. Resting behind her was a lumbering beast of Plasteel, Ceramite and a whole lot of boom packed into a conveniently portable package. Several Chem-Dogs crawled across its surface, giggling like children or laughing like mad-men.

"What is a Baneblade doing on this backwater?" Corr asked as he took a step forward and ran his hand along the beast's tracks. Layers of dust brushed aside revealing a near perfect Imperial Aquila. Cally shrugged theatrically.

"Your guess is as good as mine." He said as he clambered up the front of the vehicle, "Near as I can tell though, she's in better condition than the dregs we're normally saddled with."

"Dregs as in vehicles or…" Corr muttered as he watched one of his men stick his own head down the barrel of the Baneblade's demolisher cannon. Cally followed his line of sight and then shook his head.

"Dregs in general." he said. Corr pressed his fingers into his temple and massaged it.

"This is huge. We need to tell someone about it." He said. Cally sniggered and Corr turned to look at him.

"That's what all men say 'bout their 'toys'." He said. Suddenly a canteen cracked him in the side of the head and he fell over, clutching the side of his head. "Ow! Dammit Pats it was a joke!"

"Now THAT sounds like what women say after seeing your 'toy'!" she said with a laugh. Corr brushed his hand over his face as the Chem-Dogs hooped and hollered. Needles knelt in front of her arms crossed in front of his chest.

"I don't need to sedate you to set your leg you know." He said. Pats sighed and sat back.

"Sorry…" she mumbled as he got back to work.

"As I was saying… we need to tell some big muckity-muck for Orico about this. It could be important." Corr said. Cally slid off the tank , still holding the side of his face.

"Or…" he said, "We don't."

"What?"

"Or we don't say nothin' and keep this beauty to ourselves."

"Wha- How would we manage that?" Corr asked, gesturing at the gigantic tank.

"I can work something out," someone said. Corr strained his neck as a lithe figure stepped around the chassis, a plasma gun held in her hands.

"Visas?" he asked. The ganger glanced at him and then nodded her head at the tank.

"I can get this aboard the Fortune's Favored. No problem." She said matter-of-factly.

"Right… well what about parts? We can't exactly requisition Baneblade pieces if something breaks." Corr said. Cally jabbed a thumb over his shoulder, his smile not wavering in the least.

"No problem there. This place is chock full o' parts. Why, I bet we could outfit this baby any way we see fit!"

"I can get those up to the ship too." Visas added.

"C'mon boss! This is the chance of a lifetime! Of a thousand lifetimes!" Cally said as he put his arm across Visas' shoulders. The ganger glanced at the man's arm. Her plasma rifle clicked and hummed loudly and Cally very quickly removed his arm. Corr stared at the duo and brushed his hand over his face.

"Ya know what? Fine… I'm too tired to argue. But if we're caught, I'm hanging you both out to dry."

* * *

Orico Planetary Defense Force General Bolivar sat in his office, sipping a steaming mug of re-caff and glancing at a datapad. By all accounts his troopers were doing remarkably well in dealing with the little xenos problem that had deposited itself on his glorious home. He'd personally signed the order to intermix his men with the supplementary Imperial Guard forces that had come in from off-world in order to ensure that the outsiders saw how to properly fight and it was paying off. He stood and strolled casually over to his window as he patted himself on the back. He looked out across the cityscape from his 85th floor office and smiled. Surely this operation would be wrapped up within the week and then he'd be able to pay a visit to that girl who knows how to do that th-

"Pardon the interruption, General."

Bolivar turned and nodded at the young officer who stood in his doorway.

"Yes, what is it? Can't you see I'm very busy?"

"S-sorry General. I just came to have you sign some documents."

Bolivar rolled his eyes and stomped over to his desk. He dropped his considerable bulk down into his chair which whined in protest as he took up his pen.

"Fine, fine then. Hand it over, boy." He said as he snapped his fingers at the trooper who quickly set the forms no his desk. Bolivar quickly signed his name at the appropriate spots and thrust the papers back at the trooper as quickly as he could.

"F-forgive me, sir. But shouldn't you… read them?" the trooper asked. Bolivar fixed him with a withering glare.

"You dare question your general, boy!?" he roared, his jowls shaking in rage. The trooper snapped to attention.

"N-no sir! Sorry sir! I'll report to the Commisar for punishment sir!" he shouted. Bolivar nodded, mollified a bit by the soldier's response. He penned his signature on the last sheet and shoved the paper into the trooper's arms.

"Mmm, yes. See that you do. Now get out of my office." He harrumphed as he returned to sipping his re-caff. The trooper saluted smartly and quickly scurried out the door as Bolivar returned to the window. He didn't understand the griping he'd heard the men make. Being in the PDF wasn't tasking at all.

* * *

"This city is rather nice." Cally muttered as he glanced up and down the street. Men and woman marched by a horde, seemingly unbothered by the war being waged just outside their walls. An opulently dressed man walked by and Cally casually slipped his hand into the man's coat and retrieved a gleaming pocket watch. "Yes, very nice indeed." he said as he deposited it in his own pocket. Visas rolled her eyes and said nothing. Cally leaned against the wall next to her and smiled casually. "So you think we can trust this guy?" he asked.

"More than I trust any Chem-Dog." she responded. Cally frowned.

"Well that's not saying much." He said as he stuck out his foot. A rotund man in a fancy greatcoat stumbled over it and fell to the sidewalk with a grunt. Cally scrambled forward and roughly manhandled the gentleman to his feet. "Oh! Terribly sorry about that, sir! Me and my clumsy feets!" he said as he vigorously brushed the dirt from the man's coat. After a moment the man shoved Cally away and straightened his jacket before stomping away. Cally waved after him and leaned back against the wall to survey the items he'd lifted from the man's pockets.

"E-excuse me." A timid voice said. Cally's hands disappeared into his pockets, along with his pilfered goods as he looked at the young man who had emerged from the crowd.

"You the guy?" he asked. Vises smacked the back of his head and stepped in front of him.

"Did you get the signature?" she asked. The young trooper nodded and handed over the stack of papers. Visas took them and looked them over. "And he didn't read them?" she asked. Again the trooper nodded.

"H-he berated me when I asked if he should. I'm to report to the commissar for punishment. Thankfully, the general is terrible with faces… and names… and well… everything…" the trooper said with a shrug. He glanced around nervously and then smiled awkwardly at Visas. "Umm… about those things I asked for?"

Visas nodded and elbowed Callahan in the gut. He grunted and disappeared in the alley a moment before returning with a jingling crate.

"Here ya are! One crate of the finest Amasec, procured from some officer who wasn't paying close enough attention." He said as he thrust the case into the trooper's arms. He took it with a smile and then lingered a moment longer.

"A-and the other thing?" he asked, his face flushing. Visas rolled her eyes and leaned in, planting a toe curling kiss on the trooper. It lasted only a second but the trooper stood in a daze for several more before he staggered away with a smile on his face. Cally nudged her with an elbow and leaned in conspiratorially.

"What do I need to get ya fer somethin' like that?" he asked.

"A Space Marine Battlebarge." She replied coolly.

"Damn, I'll added it to my wishlist." He muttered as a smartly dressed woman fell to the ground in front of him. "Oh! Terribly sorry about that, madam! Me and my clumsy feets!"

* * *

A small stack of paperwork deposited itself onto the ammo box that Corr was using ask a makeshift desk. He looked up at Visas and then back down at the paperwork.

"What's this?" he asked as he picked up the papers.

"Congratulations sir. You are now the proud owner of one Baneblade super heavy tank, generously gifted to you by General Bolivar in recognition of going above and beyond the Emperor's Duty." She said flatly. Corr's mouth dropped open and he carefully read through the paperwork, his eyes gradually getting wider.

"This… this is official! Right down to the Planetary Governor's Seal!" he said. "He looked up at Visas in awe. "How…"

"Sorry. I can't reveal that." She said. "I'm just very good at what I do." She turned and sauntered off, leaving Corr staring after her in stunned silence.

"I think I'm in love." he muttered.


End file.
